I like to focus on my successes, not my failures. Rarely have I written about negative experiences. In my last entry, I defined the “martyr syndrome” as a breakdown in dysfunctional ministry relationships that end with volunteer Christian workers feeling victimized. Wherever there is conflict, there are always two sides that share some of the fault. I’ve always tried to leave relationships on good terms even though there was a fundamental disagreement. A few times I’ve successfully returned to work with the same people I thought were impossible to work with. Don’t burn bridges, that’s my first piece of advice.
I’ve obviously written this for my own benefit as a guide to reform. But maybe this has happened to you or someone you know? I’ve tried to briefly spell out what people can do to avoid the “martyr syndrome” — that feeling of “victimization” when ministry relationships do not work out.
1. Beware that all people are selfish in some way. Is there a person on the planet that is not selfish? We all share in original sin. No one is exempt from selfish behavior. Most people who are “unselfishly” serving in ministries are actually fulfilling a need for spiritual and emotional fulfillment. Some enjoy the reputation of self-sacrifice. But we should avoid the “martyr complex.” If we blame others every time we willingly sacrifice and yet are taken advantage of or underappreciated, then we have already received our reward. In claiming that all others around us are selfish, we hypocritically exhibit a more extreme form of selfishness. The remedy is to be careful that we not look for our reward from men, but should look to God.
2. Avoid obsessive compulsive behavior. A lot of times the self-proclaimed “experts” are merely those who exhibit obsessive compulsive behavior in one area of expertise. Lots of energy is expended and much gets done in a short time. However, this personality trait almost never stays on track consistently for more than a period of time. The principle of the Kingdom of God is that we must build “little by little” (Exodus 23:30).We must be covenantally faithful with what God entrusted to us over a long period of time (Proverbs 13:11). Then we cannot lose anything if we invest our lives consistently in serving God’s purposes.
3. Avoid unrealistic expectations. A lot of times a ministry project can seem exciting and new to a young volunteer. But be aware that the ones who found and maintain ministries often have to suffer through long periods of what seems to be unfruitful labor before they see any results. Ministries should also be careful not to frustrate and under-appreciate volunteers. Sometimes the encouragement of having some new blood in an organization can lead to a demand for too much from people who aren’t equipped to handle the pressure.
4. Write up a contract of some type. Define the terms of service before any “ministry” work gets done. What is the purpose of the project really? Is it solely to advance the cause of missions? Is it to raise money for a general fund or salaries pertaining to ministry work? Who is in charge of the project? What is the agreement? What happens if the agreement is not followed? Even if there is a written contract, the person in charge will often change the terms when it suits him. In this case, can the worker leave the contract without either side suffering damage? Is there a third party that may arbitrate as a witness if genuine damages occur? These are the main issues to be considered in such a contract.
5. Let God repay you. If we willingly harm other people in our thoughts, acts or words, then God will punish us if we do not repent. I have seen this happen continually in my life. I thank God I am not by nature a vindictive person and God made me somewhat thick-skinned. In every case that I have been wronged, God will always repay me. In any case, we should always seek to reconcile relationships with people we have wronged in any way. At the same time, we need to understand that some people don’t want healing and reconciliation. It’s hard to let that go if you have a heart for God, but sometimes sifting is biblical and necessary.
6. Honor your elders. The people who lead your ministry or church, whether they are ordained or not, likely have more years of experience and wisdom than you do. They are fallible human beings to boot. Yet even when you disagree with them because they are flat out wrong, they still may have something to teach you. Sometimes we even learn by a negative example. Nevertheless, if we persevere in ministry work, God may eventually place us in a position of authority. When that happens God will see to it that people will treat us in the same manner as we treated others.
7. Check your motivation. What are you doing serving a ministry in the first place? Do you want only to please God? Is it for a sense of spiritual fulfillment? Is it to get recognition? Are you there for training purposes so you can benefit in another endeavor later on. If you are looking for a reward, what type of reward do you expect? There is nothing inherently sinful about doing things that will benefit us, but in the end we will get a reward beyond measure if we will only accept what God gives us and be satisfied to do His will.
«- Is it just me that is dysfunctional or is it my church/ministry?
- Campus Ministry
- Ministry Ideas
-» The Beast of Revelation: Identified (No, it's NOT Kim Jong-il!)
Your comments are welcome!
High Quality Paperback — 40 pages of dynamite!
Revival, Resistance, Reformation, Revolution
An Introduction to the Doctrines of Interposition and Nullification
In 1776, a short time after the Declaration of Independence was adopted, Thomas Jefferson, John Adams and Benjamin Franklin were assigned to design an official seal for the United States of America. Their proposed motto was Rebellion to Tyrants is Obedience to God. America owes its existence to centuries of Christian political philosophy. Our nation provided a model for liberty copied by nations the world over.
By the 21st century, we need a “Puritan Storm” to sweep away the Hegelian notion that the state is “God walking on earth.” We need revival and reformation in full force to vanquish the problems that plague us as a nation — from government controlled healthcare — to abortion on demand — to same sex “marriage.” This booklet gives a primer on our founders’ Christian idea of government and examines how the doctrine of nullification was woven into the Constitution as a safeguard against federal tyranny. It concludes with the history and theology of civil resistance. A Second American Revolution is coming with the Word of God growing mightily and prevailing! (Acts 19:20).
$7.95 — ORDER NOW!(We accept all major credit cards and PayPal.)
With “preaching to the lost” being such a basic foundation of Christianity, why do many in the church seem to be apathetic on this issue of preaching in highways and byways of towns and cities?
Is it biblical to stand in the public places of the world and proclaim the gospel, regardless if people want to hear it or not?
Does the Bible really call church pastors, leaders and evangelists to proclaim the gospel in the public square as part of obedience to the Great Commission, or is public preaching something that is outdated and not applicable for our day and age?
These any many other questions are answered in this documentary.
$19.95 — ORDER NOW!(We accept all major credit cards and PayPal.)
“Give me liberty or give me death!”
Patrick Henry’s famous declaration not only helped launch the War for Independence, it also perfectly summarized the mindset that gave birth to, and sustained, the unprecedented experiment in Christian liberty that was America.
The freedom our Founders envisioned was not freedom from suffering, want, or hard work. Nor was it freedom to indulge every appetite or whim without restraint—that would merely be servitude to a different master. No, the Founders’ passion was to live free before God, unfettered by the chains of autocracy, shackles that slowly but inexorably bind men when the governments they fashion fail to recognize and uphold freedom’s singular, foundational truth: that all men are created in the image of God, and are thereby co-equally endowed with the right to “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.”
This presentation is a similar call, not to one but many. By reintroducing the principles of freedom that gave birth to America, it is our prayer that Jesus, the true and only ruler over the nations, will once again be our acknowledged Sovereign, that we may again know and exult in the great truth that “where the Spirit of the LORD is, there is liberty” (2 Cor. 3:17).
Welcome to the Second American Revolution!
This DVD features “Liberty: The Model of Christian Liberty” along with “Dawn’s Early Light: A Brief History of America’s Christian Foundations.” Bonus features include a humorous but instructive collection of campaign ads and Eric Holmberg’s controversial YouTube challenge concerning Mitt Romney’s campaign for president.
$14.95 — ORDER NOW!(We accept all major credit cards and PayPal.)
Special Two-Disc Set!
After 40 years of intense study and world-wide ministry, Dr. Francis Schaeffer completed his crowning work of scholarship – to present profound truths in simple film language. Dr. Schaeffer’s brilliant analysis of the past and predictions for current trends have proven so uncannily accurate that this amazing series still feels contemporary almost three decades after its initial release. Ultimately, Schaeffer concludes that man’s only hope is a return to God’s Biblical absolute, the truth revealed in Christ through the Scriptures.
Available for the first time on DVD, this documentary spectacular also includes intimate in-depth conversations with Francis and Edith Schaeffer. With the on-disc study guide, this presentation forms a unique course of comprehensive study. While this series forms an innovative analysis of the past, this outstanding work is more than history. Each episode focuses on a significant era, yet speaks clearly to 21st-century man with answers for modern problems.
$49.95 — ORDER NOW!(We accept all major credit cards and PayPal.)
Who is the dreaded beast of Revelation?
Now at last, a plausible candidate for this personification of evil incarnate has been identified (or re-identified). Ken Gentry’s insightful analysis of scripture and history is likely to revolutionize your understanding of the book of Revelation — and even more importantly — amplify and energize your entire Christian worldview!
Historical footage and other graphics are used to illustrate the lecture Dr. Gentry presented at the 1999 Ligonier Conference in Orlando, Florida. It is followed by a one-hour question and answer session addressing the key concerns and objections typically raised in response to his position. This presentation also features an introduction that touches on not only the confusion and controversy surrounding this issue — but just why it may well be one of the most significant issues facing the Church today.
Ideal for group meetings, personal Bible study — for anyone who wants to understand the historical context of John’s famous letter “… to the seven churches which are in Asia.” (Revelation 1:4)
Running Time: 145 minutes
$17.95 — ORDER NOW!(We accept all major credit cards and PayPal.)