God’s mercy saw me through 30 years of ill health, rejection, pain, sorrow, failures, grief so intense that it led me to two suicide attempts, a long string of broken relationships, a constant change of jobs, a life full of rebellion and an intense interest in the occult. I was also constantly disillusioned by the wickedness and the corruption of the world. I looked for answers but found none. In the midst of all that, I had refused to submit my life to the Lord. I was stubborn, worldly and bitter – thinking that I could make it without Him.
It was prior to two incidents of being hit by bolts of lightning (while speaking on the telephone during heavy thunderstorms) that I was admitted in a hospital with breathing complications. The diagnosis was psychosomatic bronchial asthma. These unusual incidents left me drained of energy, weak, and sick. In His own way, God had given a very obvious call to surrender.
Finally, in the early months of 1986, after many traumatic experiences, I was brought to my knees in utter surrender to Him. The realization that there was absolutely nothing in this world worth living for, I gave myself wholly to seek Him. No longer do I count my life dear unto myself. For months with tears and weeping, I would go alone before the Lord at the back pews of a church. Then one morning the Lord told me to leave for America. I obeyed and sold whatever I had and left.
In America, the Lord put me in a campus ministry of young international students. Then God sent me to attend an international student conference in Seattle, Washington hosted by Maranatha Campus Ministries. I received the baptism of the Holy Spirit there and was miraculously delivered. It was a divine experience when I felt Jesus reach out to me, and comfort me on His shoulders while I wept. I could not open my eyes while the tangible presence of God and His love just overwhelmed me.
My life changed with new hope and direction. I had an intense hunger for the things of God. I surrendered my will and desires to Him and He began to put a new vision in my heart … a vision to be involved and to be part of His glorious church. At this conference, I made a covenant with God to serve and to share this vision with the nations. That is my desire now – to take His life-changing power to the world!
- Joy Ay Goh